looking to de-stress
I have been a nurse for 16 years mostly ALL long-term care or skilled settings. This past year I've started to experience what I feel is caregiver burnout. I've been through company buyouts before and yes it sucks when new management takes over and everything changes but I used to be able to roll with it. This time hasn't been as easy. I have had a lot of personal home issues as well, elderly parents, husband being diagnosed with a potentially serious condition, and a grown son with serious issues as well. The combination of going from 8 hour shifts and no weekends to 12 hour shifts and every other weekend(new company rule) is frankly wearing me out to a frazzle. I'm exhausted after 12 hours on my feet running even if it's only 3 days a week, it takes 2-3 days to recover, so your time off feels like nothing. I dread getting up in the morning for my job so much that I have trouble sleeping the night before. When I do get up I am in the worst mood. I have to force myself to remain pleasant on my job but really in my head the constant request from patients and the family members just get on my nerves now and irritate me. I used to never feel that way. I never minded helping my patients with ANY request. From actual nursing duties to a foot rub, I always felt like what I was doing was making a difference in their lives and hopefully making what time they had left comfortable. Now I just resent it taking time away from my family. I'm beginning to feel like how dare they complain that I didn't get to their room fast enough for their request? Don't they realize what I've given up just to be in there to help them?? And I know that attitude is wrong, but it is how I'm starting to feel. When I get home its kind of the same issue. The household seems to revolve around me being in charge, so if I don't monitor that, things at home don't get done as well. Yes, I know that other people could jump in and help more in that area, but why do I have to sacrifice raising my own children and keeping my own home up so I can be in there taking care of someone who won't remember my name after a while?? My kids are going to remember that I didn't come to the ball games cause I couldn't get off work without a 45 day notice, they are going to remember how I had to work every holiday and wasn't at home to share it with them. They are going to remember how I was so tired from work and my feet were swollen and hurting so bad, that I didn't want to play with them. My answer to this is to just get out of the field. I'm looking outside of nursing for a job. Trouble is, I'm really not qualified for anything else that pays what I make, and I'm still looking even if it means a pay cut. Jobs are not plentiful right now, and most places won't call me for their positions when they realize I was making double then what they offer. Over qualified or under qualified for just about anything other then being a nurse! But either way I want out of this field!